8.9.16-day 1

Gotta love day onesssss…they are different than day 2! Why is it that I am so stuck? Like a rat on a wheel. My husband celebrated his 59 th birthday,we had a nice day,I finished several projects,had a good run in the morning and just felt like rewarding myself with some crisp Chardonnay .It actually tasted like gasoline for the first couple gulps,but then it seems to taste better.Before you know it the bottle is empty,chips and salsa for dinner then straight to bed drinking water during the night.Why,why,why? I just want to quit and stay quit!i have been doing this for several years and want to have alcohol be no big deal.I enjoy reading other sober blogs,hoping that I will click and get better.Today is another day one,I’m hanging my head,self esteem is low,but I will go out and work my way thru the day.i will not drink tonight ! Have a nice day.

Starting again

Day one again for the trillionth time! Why is it so hard to get and stay sober…. I always start to feel better and then poison myself with some Chardonnay as a reward for a day of not drinking. This cycle I’m stuck in is horrible.Im checking out other sober blogs and can identify a lot but just keep screwing up. I’m going to commit to posting here as I slowly start my journey to freedom and happiness .Today I’m giving myself an alcoholectomy! See you tomorrow!